In response to numerous visitor questions about whether it’s possible to avoid paying north of $2.50 per litre for fuel on Cape York, editor Lyndon Keane says it absolutely is, providing you’ve got a stockpile of breath mints. Photo: Cape York Weekly.
I was intending to pen a ranting missive about the Northern Peninsula Area’s ongoing water woes and how elected officials at both the local and state levels need to deliver solutions, not finger pointing, but it’s nearly Christmas and I don’t want to dull everyone’s festive vibe. Besides, there are only so many times per year you can point out the shortcomings of our public leaders without sounding like an obsessive lunatic.
Instead, with only one edition to go for 2024, I thought it an opportune time to reflect on some of the most frequent – and downright bizarre – questions I’ve been asked by both tourists and Cape York locals over the past 12 months.
Question 1: How long do I need to see Cape York?
Ah, the old how-long-is-a-piece-of-string chestnut. Probably the most common question asked by adventurers before setting off on their Cape York trek and certainly the most subjective. How much time do you have? How much of the region do you want to see? Will you be towing a caravan, or do you have access to fast jets and intend to use RAAF Scherger as your base of operations? The F-35A Lightning II has a top speed of almost 2,000 kilometres an hour, meaning you could tick off the patch of dirt between the Torres Strait and Cooktown in about 28 minutes, if my maths are right. It’s a bit quicker than the 70km/h most caravanners seem speed limited to.
Question 2: Have you seen what’s in the paper?
As ridiculous as it sounds, I get asked this weekly by locals. I’m not sure what everything thinks being a newspaper editor actually involves, but I solemnly swear if it appears on the pages, I’ve cast my eyes over it prior to sending it to the printer. I appreciate your concern, but there’s no need to make sure I read that story about such and such on page 6.
Question 3: How can I get cheap fuel on the Cape?
This one is usually lobbed in my direction while I’m filling up and a visitor has done a double-take after seeing the price of diesel and is in the process of adopting a foetal position next to the bowser. Yes, we’re painfully aware how expensive it is to keep an internal combustion engine firing in this part of the world – try having to pay north of $2.50 per litre 52 weeks of the year.
The good news is that there is a way to protect your wallet at our service stations. The bad news is that you’re going to have to bring your own siphon hose and a small backpack full of breath mints to take full advantage of your financial cunning. If you’ve got a fondness for Winfield Blues, however, it may pay to give this plan a wide berth.
Question 4: Can I use roadhouse amenities without buying something?
If you’ve genuinely ever asked this question, you’re up there with the worst kind of humans. What do you mean can you rock up to a roadhouse on Peninsula Developmental Road with your hoard of unruly, barely domesticated children to use the toilets and then disappear into the dust without spending a cent? There’s nothing our roadhouse operators love more than having to pay staff to clean amenities blocks sullied by visitors who have contributed absolutely zero to their bottom line. Don’t want to open your wallet? You could always embrace the whole bear-in-the-woods scenario.
Question 5: How long is too long for Pajinka photos?
Again, this is a persistent query that’s open to personal interpretation. For my money, if it takes you more than a few minutes to grab your happy snaps at the most iconic sign in Australia and then get on with actually enjoying the incredible environment around you, you’re probably doing it wrong. If you feel somehow impelled to take 50 photos, get video content and then launch a drone while dozens of other tourists bombard you with death stares queuing for their turn, you’re absolutely taking too long, and the reason social media has failed society.
